You can be body-positive and still have preferences.
You can be a feminist and still love men.
You can be sex-positive without being interested in casual sex.
People seem to forget that the core principle of all of these is as simple as not being an asshole.
how is it almost august im like 100% sure it was new years yesterday
look at this fool tryna use real words.
unfortunately, all you said was:
“nobody listens, so i don’t have to either! but get at me when you want to listen to me some more.”
nah, man, i’m cool. i already heard what your bum ass had to say. and you ain’t sayin a gotdamn thing i haven’t already heard. and i’m seriously wondering if you read a damn thing i said, when i specifically asked you to do so before responding with this bullshit, since all you picked out was how i’m not going to be nice.
why are you stuck on “nice” tho? why is it so important to you that i be nice to you? when did people stop being nice to you, and why do i need to take up the fucking slack? i don’t even like your cracker ass, i ain’t holding your fucking hand for shit.
i swear, this is why that “if you don’t have anything nice to say…” is some passive, “shut up and take this ass-whuppin” bullshit. racists can be “nice” too. abusers can be “nice” too. murderers can be “nice” too. bullies can be “nice” too. cats are “nice” when they shed on the furniture. dogs are “nice” even when they drag ass all over your carpet.
and people who shit on others have been “nice” while spreading their fucking cheeks and straining for several fucking centuries.
you were “nice” when you decided to give your shitty advice to people who didn’t ask for it, and who — while they may need to hear it — do not need to hear that shit from you.
i heard what the fuck you said, all the while thinking you’re being “nice,” and “nice” don’t have shit to do with what the fuck you said, so it damn well won’t have anything to do with the way i respond to it.
fuck that. fuck you. i was very fucking nice.
step my way again.
i’ll give you “nice.”
this needs to be rebloggable. i lost my shit at the we’re not friends gif. omg lol
[[ rebloggable by request ]]
July 5, 2012
If you are reading this blog for the first time, or if you have read it many times before, please consider supporting it and the writers whose voices it seeks to amplify. The Black Girl Dangerous Writing Workshop for queer, trans*, and gender-non-conforming writers of color needs your help to make radical writing workshops possible. There are only 2 days left! Thousands of people read this blog, and if everyone who reads it and enjoys it today makes a contribution, we will meet our goal. Watch the video and read about the project here. Thanks!
by Mia McKenzie
I have often made the argument that white folks ought to talk to other white folks about racism and white privilege. As people of color, we get tired of having to always be the ones to talk about these things, always having to be responsible for other people’s education and understanding, when these issues are not our issues, but the issues of a whole country and a whole world. It is important for white people to educate themselves about race, racism, white privilege, and white supremacy. It is necessary. In the same way, it is necessary, and in fact ideal, for men to talk to other men about misogyny and rape-culture. That should not always be the job of women. These things are everyone’s problems.
Yesterday I watched this great video by Meghan Tonjes and was reminded how little I have been talking to other skinny (or just not fat) women about fat phobia lately. And I thought it was time to write a lil blog about it.
I have often had the experience of hanging with women who are thin like myself, or bigger than me, but not fat, and hearing fat-phobic comments. Once, I was chatting with a co-worker who was flipping through an entertainment magazine, and she was going on and on about how good all these thin women looked, from their bodies to their hair and their clothes. Then she got to a photo of a fat woman. And her face got all twisted up. “Ugh. She needs to lose some weight,” she said.
I was like, “Dude. That’s not cool. You’re being fat phobic.”
And she was like, “No, I’m not! I just think it’s bad to be that fat. I mean, it’s just so UNHEALTHY!”
And you know I had to call bullshit. You just sat here worshiping ten different women who probably barely weigh a hundred pounds apiece soaking wet with a million dollars worth of jewelry on, and now all of a sudden you are worried about women’s health? I’m not buying it.
As a skinny woman, and at times an under-weight woman, I can say there is nothing automatically healthy about being thin. Being underweight is a health risk. Not eating properly, not getting enough fat, is a serious problem. Some of the risks of not being fat enough:
- weakened immune system
- fragile bones
- vitamin-deficient anemia
I rarely hear anyone talking about these health risks. Skinny women are plastered everywhere, held up as an ideal, and nobody ever says, “Oh my God, Reese Witherspoon probably has a seriously weakened immune system!” Yet when talking about a fat person, everyone assumes they know everything about that person’s health, just because they are fat.
Can you be thin and be healthy? Sure. Of course. I am thin and I think I am pretty healthy. I have friends who are not thin, and friends who are fat, who are as healthy as I am. I have friends who are fat who are much healthier than I am. Our weight does not automatically determine how healthy we are.
And, really, let’s be honest, little of this is about health anyway. Talking about it in terms of health is just a convenient way to make fat people, especially fat women, wrong. We live in a society that takes great pains to control women’s bodies, to make sure that women have as little say over their own bodies as possible, and this is no different. If a woman is fat, and God-forbid, happy with her fat self, we are deeply offended. How dare she not let us control her?? Who the hell does this fat bitch think she is??
Maybe she thinks she is a human being with a brain and a soul and myriad experiences that make up a three-dimensional life. Maybe that’s who the hell she thinks she is.
Mia McKenzie is a writer and a smart, scrappy Philadelphian with a deep love of vegan pomegranate ice cream and fake fur collars. She is a black feminist and a freaking queer, facts that are often reflected in her writings, which have won her some awards and grants, such as the Astraea Foundation’s Writers Fund Award and the Leeway Foundation’s Transformation Award. She just finished a novel and has a short story forthcoming in The Kenyon Review. Her work has been published at Jezebel.com, and recommended by The Root, Colorlines, Feministing, Angry Asian Man, and Crunk Feminist Collective. She is a nerd, and the creator of Black Girl Dangerous, a revolutionary blog.
LOVE THIS. This is what it means to be thin privileged, acknowledging it, and using it to fight back against fat phobia. This is the good shit.
ALSO I fucking love that Meghan Tonjes video so fucking hard, need to post that. I think I put it up on twitter. I am losing track of all the awesomeness.
- IronicAlly: BUT I'VE NEVER FLOWN BEFORE
- mazzlestar: it's not that hard
- mazzlestar: mostly you just sit there
- #wherein Maz is a troll
- Having sex every day.
- Saving sex for your wedding night.
- Never having sex.
- Having sex with different people.
- Having sex with one person.
- Having sex with a person of your same gender.
- Loving sex.
- Hating sex.
- Being loud.
- Being quiet.
The only thing wrong with sex?
When it’s not consensual.
Because that’s not sex. That’s rape.
Reblogging again because this post is so important.